PSGR is a solo effort by me, Rhiannon, a 23 year old from New Zealand. There's a lot to explore here, so take a look around and have fun!
The PSGR Guide To Getting (And Leaving) A Job
Oh, the sweet, sweet irony. A guide to getting a job, as written by the self-proclaimed Queen of Job Leaving Land! Well, in order to leave a job you have to have gained one in the first place, and getting a job is something I've never had a problem with. But don't worry - I've added a mini guide about leaving your job too!
The Interview
So you've sucessfully managed to get an interview! Cool, congratulations. This means your potential employers like what they've read in your CV and they want to meet you in person. Duh. You'll have to be on top of it at all times because you'll be grilled to fuckery by the interviewers.
Tips:
Always, always turn up on time
...if not five minutes early. If you're late for an interview, then there goes your chances of even getting this job. Employers take punctuality into major consideration - if you're late for their interview then, to them, this indicates you're not going to be reliable in a job position. They won't want you. If you really care about getting this job then it won't take much effort to be punctual. If you're late due to reasons beyond your control, they may take this into consideration but it's at their own discretion whether they choose to believe you or not. Depends how interested they are in employing you in the first place!
Don't over do it.
Interviewers realise (and expect) all of their potential candidates to talk themselves up to some degree. That's fine, and of course you're going to flaunt your skills, but don't overdo it. Be honest when they ask you to rate your competence in certain areas, eg Windows etc. Don't say you have advanced skils in MS Excel when you've never used the damn thing. Also, don't come across as too eager for the job, and don't mention pay expectations unless they ask you! In the eyes of employers, jobs are 'not about the money', they're about providing clients/customers with a high level of service and all that lame ass shit. Of course it's all about the money - just don't let them realise that.
You love people! You're so social and friendly!
Argh...people like this are seriously the antithesis of my motherfuckin' PSGR ethos, but at the interview you're going to have to make out you're a lame ass people lover. They will probably ask you how you perform in a team, and you will say this: "Very well I'd say, I've never experienced any problems in a team environment before". This should cancel out the next question they might ask you - if you've experienced any problems in a team environment. Since you've already answered this question, they may be sneaky and try and catch you out by asking the same question but reworded, like "Have you experienced any problems in the workplace", or "Have you experienced any problems with other co-workers". Again, you will say: Not at all. But if I did, I'd have a quiet word to them first and ultimately see my supervisor if the problem affected my work." If you don't like someone because you think they're common white trash, then don't mention it - this reason is seen as invalid by employers and you don't want to reveal your snobbery until after you've got the job. Employers make out that team work and the ability to gel with others is really important in a job, so you really must stress that you're a cheerful, friendly person who loves being around others. If you really want to set this all in stone you could chuck in some random bullshit about how it's important to gel with your co-workers because it leads to a more efficient, productive working environment, and a happy atmosphere is key to the successful operations of a workplace. Lol.
The dreaded strengths and weaknesses -
I used to previously get stuck on this one, when it came to weaknesses. Of course I knew what they were, well, what others but not me might see as a weakness. The fact that I go to a job to earn money and have no interested in befriending - let alone speaking to - any co-workers. Don't be silly enough to mention this, especially after reading everything I've covered under You Love People. I know that the majority of people reading this won't be that stupid, but I know of someone who actually put himself down big time when asked this question, and he didn't get the job because of it. All he got was a massive lecture about how he shouldn't put himself down so much in interviews. (No, it wasn't my boyfriend who said this).
Anyway, strengths for you should be easy - here are some 'buzz words' that interviewers will find simply orgasmic: Honesty, reliability, flexibility, ability to gel with others in a team environment, quick learner, easily adaptable, passion for customer service, loves helping others, dedication, keenness to learn, articulate... also maybe chuck in something about the shitload of experience you've had, if applicable. Now, I've mentioned quite a few buzz words - don't relay all of these at the interview - just pick a few, perhaps the ones that you feel apply to you more than the others.
Interviewers try and catch you out big time when they ask your weaknesses. If you say "none", they'll know you're full of shit and they might even question your credibility and wonder if everything you've said previously has been a crock of shit too. I used to hum and har over weaknesses and take a long time to think of one, but that was because the only weaknesses I had were ones I couldn't mention to them - just the whole hate team environments and interacting with co-workers thing. Then I created a shit hot lie that I started using - I say my focus is seen as a weakness by some of my co-workers, as I'm not always as chatty or social when I'm trying to do my work. I see my work is more important to be focussing on rather than telling people how my weekend was etc. After all, that's what your break times are for. Something like that. Then, the fuckers may ask you to provide an example for this well crafted lie. Say something about how one time you were trying to do your work and someone came up to you and started chatting about what he/she did in the weekend. You overcome this problem by asking them to tell you on your break instead.
Dress code -
You should always look smart for an interview - first impressions count and all that jazz. No jeans, no halter/strappy tops, no midriffs showing, no offensive logos blah blah blah. Just think of how a loser would dress, and dress accordingly. Eg. black / white / grey / associated depressing colours. If you're a high-heels type then I guess wear heels, but if you're not you can wear flats or, in my case, school shoes.
Any questions? -
At the end of the interview it's normal for them to ask if YOU have any questions. Don't say "Hmm...no, I can't think of anything right now", because to them that's seen as you not being interested in the job. Questions you could ask include:
Leaving a job -
So you got a job, and the money was great but ultimately the job is making you miserable. You either long for freedom or long to be in a better working environment. There are many reasons why people decide to leave their jobs, but with me it's always because I have been miserable. The money may be good, but you can't put a price on your happiness. When you leave a job, it's recommended that you give a couple of weeks notice to your employers. If you can't fucking stand the place and the way others have treated you, you could decide to take out some sweet revenge and just up and leave, causing others to stress and panic at the thought of being left in the lurch. If you decide to do the latter, be prepared for your phone to ring off the hook and a major overload of your voice mailbox. They could be genuinely concerned, but then again they may hate you just as much as you hate them, and they want to do the whole 'contact thing' straight away. It is a requirement of employers to make a decent attempt of contacting you if you randomly up and leave a job. You could always fuck them around even more by rejecting their calls. Don't worry about your CV, either. You don't even have to mention the job if you don't want to, and you don't necessarily have to provide a reference anyway. Just use the two references from previous jobs that you already have on your CV anyway! If you left the job unexpectedly and wish you'd grabbed a referee, let me know and I will be your referee. I've done this plenty of times already for acquaintances.
Things you might want to ask yourself if you want to leave a job:
If you answered yes to any of the above questions, only quit your job when you know you have the money to pay things off. If you have bills coming in left right and centre then do not quit your job - just look for something else in the background, and when it comes to interviews just tell your current employers that you have a dental appointment. If you have a credit card, wait until you receive some money before quitting. When I left my last job I owed about $261.00 on my card, but I quit anyway because I knew that the day after I quit I'd get paid for the week I'd worked previously, and I covered the payment with that money. If I received bills left right and centre I'm not sure how I'd go about quitting a job. I've never received a bill before so I don't know how that would work for me.
If the answer is everything, then man, why are you putting yourself through this hell? Money isn't worth it, okay? If your team leaders / management have been assholes to you, then be an asshole back. Get one up on them by upping and leaving without notice --they've treated you like shit so it's only right that you return the favour.
Employers may opt to be sneaky bastards by ringing you and leaving 'heartfelt' voice mails about how important it is that you contact them because they think you may have been in an accident, been hurt or injured etc. DON'T BELIEVE IT - this is just a lie to try and make you get in contact with them just so the fuckers can have the satisfaction of FIRING YOU THEMSELVES.
Also, when you begin a job and fill out all the papers, do not give your families' numbers as an emergency contact number. The job may ring your Mum etc asking why you haven't turned up, and depending on how your parents are, they may growl you and give you hell. For emergency numbers, either make one up by giving the RIGHT number bar one misplaced digit at the end (this way if they call you out you can say "oh, my mistake") or give your boyfriend/girlfriends number.
Well, I hope this page has helped you in some way. Of course, if you're a sneaky, cunning, generally dodgy individual you'll find this ideal, but if you're not then maybe at least the interview tips might be of some use to you.